Practicing Parenthood Read online

  “Oh.” Madison felt the sting of that truth. She had no idea Collin had come from such a rough background. She’d just assumed he’d had everything handed to him. He acted entitled in the courtroom, and she knew he’d gone to a high-end school. She’d assumed he’d been born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

  Collin shrugged, a steely look of determination in his eye. “Well, it doesn’t matter who he was. He wasn’t part of my life. My mom worked multiple jobs to feed us, and I got a scholarship to a prep school because of my grades and the fact that Mom worked in their cafeteria. Then I got a full-ride to Penn and a scholarship to law school in Florida, and here I am.”

  Madison had a renewed appreciation for Collin, now that she knew he was a completely self-made man. He’d grown up as poor as some of the clients she herself represented.

  “So why don’t you show more mercy? You understand what happens to these kids. Like Miller. He was the child of a single mom, who was just trying to make ends meet. His dad was in jail. Couldn’t you relate?”

  “Growing up poor? With a dad in jail? Yeah, I know what it’s like.” Collin finished his beer, tipping the bottle to get the last swig. “But I also know that you can always take the easy way out...sell drugs, steal, whatever, but the fact is each of these kids knows what he’s doing is wrong. Even James Miller. He wanted that gift for his mom? He didn’t have to steal it. He could’ve worked for the money to pay for it. But that would’ve been harder than stealing it. And he could’ve even stolen it without hitting that guard. And Jimmy Reese came from a single mom, too. Does that mean it was okay for him to shoot a twelve-year-old girl?”

  “No, of course not!” Madison shook her head. “You really are a tough one, aren’t you?”

  “There’s only one way to be—tough.”

  Madison tried to imagine the overconfident prosecutor as a young boy, fatherless, with a mother who was never home, working odd jobs. How easily he could’ve fallen in with the wrong crowd. Made mistakes. She guessed she understood why he took a hard line.

  “Well, it’s dangerous to think the world is so simple,” she said.

  “Why?” Collin signaled the waitress as she walked by and ordered another beer.

  “My uncle had a case that involved this client who was charged with arson. His own house, insurance fraud. Except that his son from college comes home late at night, but neither he nor the wife know he’s in the house. He dies of smoke inhalation.”

  “That’s terrible,” Collin said. “But let me guess, your uncle was a bleeding heart. Tried to frame it as a poor father who was... what? Framed by the insurance company? Racked by guilt? What victim card did he play?”

  Madison slowly shook her head again as she took a sip of ice water. “No, actually, my uncle thought he was guilty. And he was annoyed that the man refused to plead guilty. In fact, my uncle said he tried every day to get the man to plead, because your office was offering him ten years, which they thought was fair, when a jury might give him fifteen or more for murder.”

  Madison remembered her uncle telling this story. It was one of the first ones he’d told her when she’d gone to law school, one of the first examples of how easily a lawyer could miss things.

  “The man just refused to admit guilt. My uncle thought he was being stubborn. I mean, he’d taken out a life insurance policy on his son and wife a month before. But as bad as it looked, it turned out he was telling the truth.”

  Collin sat back, the sun shining on his dark hair. He folded his arms across his chest. “Really? His neighbor burned the house down? Or...no, his mistress?”

  “Nope. He was found guilty. The jury sentenced him to fifteen years. The man, distraught, hanged himself in prison.” Collin’s eyes glinted in the sun as he listened. “Then, after his death, his wife confessed. She was the one who’d set the fire. She’d never intended for her son to get hurt. Or for her husband to go to jail. The insurance policy on her son was accidental. What she wanted was to have the home insurance pay for a new house.” Madison took a deep breath. “So, even when you’re sure someone’s guilty, sometimes they’re not.”

  Collin seemed to consider the story, and for a second, she thought maybe he was coming around, maybe he’d see the world in a more complex way, like she had after she’d heard her uncle’s story. She’d worked hard not to jump to any conclusions—not with her clients and not with any cases before her.

  “Okay, so one innocent guy in the mix. There might be that. But most of them, and you know this, are guilty.”

  “But if even one is innocent! That’s one too many.”

  The waitress put a fresh beer in front of Collin. He took a sip. “But that’s the price you pay to lock up the bad guys,”

  “How can you be fine with that?”

  “Because I know that most of the guys I put away are bad guys. Like Jimmy Reese.”

  Madison let out a frustrated breath. Maybe they’d never agree. Yes, she wanted horrible, violent murderers behind bars! But that didn’t mean everyone who was charged with something was guilty.

  She glanced over at the pool and saw the wedding reception tables in place around it and beneath the awning nearby. A DJ had set up turntables near the front, and the music wafted over to them, some happy pop song. All the tables looked pristine, each place setting perfect, as some guests began to wander in. They wore suits and dresses.

  “Um... Are we supposed to still be here?” Madison asked, nodding at the well-dressed guests as they began to arrive.

  “Yvana said the bar would be open during the wedding,” Collin said. “I don’t see why not.”

  Just then, the DJ cued up the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the newlyweds, the Gattas, I want to welcome you here to their reception! Now, I’d like to introduce the bridal party...” He pointed to a nearby arch, covered in hydrangeas, where the bridal party was assembled and ready to join the reception.

  “I really don’t think we should be here,” Madison whispered. They had a front row view of the bridesmaids entering in their lavender shift dresses and the groomsmen wearing coordinating lavender ties.

  The bride and groom were announced last, arriving in a flurry of applause as they kissed beneath the flower-covered arch. Madison couldn’t help feeling moved; the couple seemed to be so in love, and that emotion spread through the reception. She could practically feel its warmth from here. Waiters dressed in white jackets roamed with trays of champagne, and the bride and groom both took a long-stemmed glass and toasted each other, their happiness obvious on their faces. Suddenly, Madison felt a pang of envy. She wanted that. Wanted what they had—love, commitment and a beautiful way to celebrate it. What she didn’t want was to be somebody’s afterthought. Or obligation...

  The DJ put on some music, a slow song. “And now, let’s ask the bride and her father to take a spin around the dance floor,” he said. Madison watched, feeling a surprisingly sharp longing in her chest. She could feel Collin studying her as she concentrated on the first dance until its end, and then the DJ put on an upbeat dance song and called for everyone else to join the couple on the dance floor.

  “Hey,” Collin said, his voice low. “Why don’t we join them?”

  “What?” Madison was taken off guard. Was he seriously asking her to dance? That was almost...romantic. Since when did he care about romance?

  “Want to dance?” Collin offered her his hand.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  MADISON FROWNED AT her ratty T-shirt and her cutoff shorts and cheap flip-flops. She was decidedly underdressed. How could she join the well-dressed guests on the dance floor? Her face felt hot just thinking about it.

  “No! We can’t. I mean...” She gestured at the half-dozen dancers moving to the beat on the small dance floor.

  Collin stood, pushing back his chair. Teddy, who’d dozed off, looked up,
his blond shaggy mane falling in his eyes. Collin came to her side, lifting her by the elbows. “Of course, we can,” he said as she stood uneasily. “They won’t mind.”

  Madison paused, staring at the man in his cargo shorts and golf shirt, his sunglasses tucked up in his hair. He had an air about him, that confidence; jurors always recognized it, too. Madison couldn’t quite resist his charm, either. And she didn’t object as he led her out onto the dance floor. The music suddenly turned slow. A love ballad came on, the notes drifting into the dusky sky.

  Madison felt a tiny moment of panic. Not only was she going to be way underdressed, she was also going to slow dance with the man? Then Collin stopped at the edge of the dance floor, between the wedding party and the pool, and pulled her into his arms, expertly, easily, without hesitation. They held her fast as he snugly drew her to him, his hand firmly at the small of her back. And suddenly...she was right back in that night with him. God, the man had expert hands. He’d guided her to each position, had deftly made her come twice. She had trouble resisting a man with such confidence, a man who knew what he wanted and how to get it. A man who knew what she wanted...

  A couple drifted by a few feet away on the actual dance floor and the woman gave them a smile and a nod.

  “See? Not so bad, is it?” Collin asked.

  “No,” Madison admitted, acutely aware of how close they were. Madison could feel the heat from Collin’s body. She remembered the weight of him on her chest that one night, the delicious feeling of his body against hers. Instantly, she felt her inner thighs warm. What was wrong with her? she wondered. She was pregnant, so why did her body scream for sex?

  Was it Collin?

  Or hormones?

  “I went to a team-building retreat once,” Collin said as he pulled her closer. “They told us that to build trust, you need to build mutual respect. And one way to do that...is to give honest compliments.”

  “Honest compliments? What other kinds are there?”

  “Fake ones,” he said and grinned. “Like, a fake one would be, Madison, you are...so shy. It’s adorable.”

  Madison burst into laughter. She was many things, but shy wasn’t one of them. “Oh, like, Collin, you’re so humble.”

  Collin laughed, a low growl in his throat that Madison felt in her stomach. “Yes, exactly.” His eyes sparkled.

  “So, I’m going to give you an honest compliment.” Collin paused.

  “What? Can’t think of one?”

  “Nope. That’s not the problem. Can think of too many.” This made Madison’s face grow hot.

  “You’re damn well one of the best defense attorneys I’ve ever seen,” Collin said. “You defend every client—from the poorest to the richest—with the same effort.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because a lot of defense attorneys only care about money,” Collin said. “But you actually care about giving them their constitutional right to a good defense.”

  “They’re not all guilty,” she said. “I keep telling you that. A lot of innocent people wind up going to jail. Like the supposed arsonist.”

  Collin diverted her in a spin. “Yes, and some guilty ones go free.” He drew her even closer. “Do you know what we call you in the state attorney’s office?”

  She had a nickname? She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it. “Dragon lady?” she offered, half-joking. She hoped it wasn’t worse than that.

  “We call you the Earthquake,” he whispered in her ear. “Nobody ever wants to see the Earthquake on the docket. You make even the most slam-dunk cases not so easy. You shake foundations. Topple the best-built cases.”

  “I do not,” Madison protested as she enjoyed the warm feeling of Collin tightening his grip on her hand, guiding her a little closer to the pool. Their slow sway matched the music, beat for beat.

  “You do. And you do it without slimy tactics or lazy finger-pointing. You’d make an impressive prosecutor, you know that?”

  “What? And be full of myself like you guys?” Madison joked, because she’d heard the refrain before. Prosecutors considered themselves the heroes and claimed that defense attorneys acted as their obstacles to true justice. But, Madison had never thought of her job that way. James Miller, for instance, deserved a good defense attorney—somebody to stand up for him.

  “You don’t want to put bad guys away?” he asked her.

  “We’ve already had this discussion,” she said. “I’d rather make sure good guys don’t go to jail.”

  Collin laughed again and pulled her even closer. Now their torsos were pressed together, and she could feel the firm muscles of his chest. Their legs worked seamlessly as they moved in time with the music. The sun had dipped below the horizon, and above them, the sky turned pink and lavender. The song ended, and suddenly she heard the tiny plink of forks against wine glasses as the wedding audience demanded a kiss from the newlyweds. Madison watched the couple—young, dazzling, happy—and when she turned back to Collin, she saw he was staring at her.

  “Madison,” he breathed, his voice low. He’d become serious in that moment, deliberate.

  And before she knew what was happening, he lowered his head and covered her lips with his. Everything else disappeared—the wedding, the music, the guests in suits and fancy dresses. All she knew then was the feel of his lips, the insistent way he claimed her and the desire that rose up in her to answer his call. Their bodies pressed even closer as he gently moved his mouth on hers. She stood up on tiptoe, sliding her arms around his neck. Suddenly, she didn’t care that she was underdressed and in public. She didn’t care about anything but this single moment.

  He broke the kiss first and sucked in a breath, the look on his face mirroring her own shock. Had that really happened? Had that really been so...good?

  “Whoa,” he murmured, as her own heart hammered in her chest, beating so hard she thought it might pop out of her ribcage.

  His amazement felt like her own.

  She remembered now, with full clarity, the wonderful night they’d spent together, the way their bodies fit as if they’d been made for each other. She’d half-buried the memory, but now all the sensations came flooding back—a blur of hands and legs, tangled sweaty bodies, an urgency that she’d never be able to repeat. “That’s how you got into my bed. With a kiss,” she said.

  She remembered the way he’d kissed her at the door of the Uber, and how she’d immediately invited him back to her place, her head spinning.

  “It was?”

  She stared at Collin. “You don’t remember? By the car? The Uber? Outside the bar? You kissed me there.”

  Collin’s brow furrowed.

  Madison took a step backward. “What do you remember from that night?”

  “I remember you were damn sexy,” he said.

  “And? And what else? Where did we go?”

  He thought a minute. “Your place.”

  “And what did we do there?”

  “Well, obviously, we...” He pointed to her belly. Madison took another step back and thrust her fist against her hip. “You have no idea what happened.”

  “That’s not true,” he said.

  “What color was my underwear?”

  He looked like a deer in the headlights then. “I don’t know. I’d had a couple of drinks. Besides, I was too busy getting it off.”

  “Black.” Madison was angrier by the second. How could he not remember a night that would forever be seared in her memory? Did he take home so many defense attorneys that they blurred together into one big orgy? “So, you really don’t remember what we did that night?”

  “I do, I promise. I do remember.” Collin reached out and pressed his hand against the small of her back. “How could I forget the best sex of my life?” He pulled her close, his breath on her ear. “You were the best I’ve ever had.”

  Her heart thumped. Did
he mean it? The best sex of his life? This shouldn’t make her feel so... happy, but it did.

  A crash, followed by breaking glass, caught their attention as they whirled toward their abandoned table.

  Teddy had managed to catch the edge of the tablecloth and topple a dinner plate. He gulped down what was left of Madison’s hamburger.

  “Great,” Collin said, rolling his eyes. “That useless dog did it again.”

  She ran ahead of him to make sure the puppy hadn’t cut himself on any glass, even as a waiter appeared with a broom and a dustpan.

  Madison scooped up the dog and Collin kneeled down to help the waiter get some of the bigger shards.

  She glanced at him. Was he worth a chance? Could they really be something? Then, as soon as the thought entered her mind, she rejected it. No. Suddenly, she needed some air. She needed some space.

  She moved back from the mess he and the waiter were cleaning up and carried Teddy away from them both, heading over to the trail that would take her home.

  “Madison!” she heard Collin shout. “Where are you going?”

  “I just... I need to be alone,” she said, not turning around, not looking him in the eye.

  “Come on. I’m trying here.” Collin sounded earnest, but it wasn’t enough. Also, if he really cared about her, why would trying sound like such a chore?

  She paused, noticing again how perfectly his features fit together, how annoyingly handsome the man was. She knew if she stayed any longer, he’d start making more sense. She needed to clear her head.

  “Come on, please,” he called. “Stay.”

  But she didn’t. With the dog in her arms, she turned and left him, and she kept on walking, trying to keep her spine straight.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THIS WASN’T EXACTLY how Collin had planned the evening. He watched Madison hop into her golf cart and fire it up. He let her go, observing in consternation as the dog took his place in the seat next to her.